Keeping Busy Does a Girl Wonders

Thursday brought the career motivation that I needed, but there has definitely a lack of social activity and it was starting to bring me down. Coming from Cincinnati where I have a number of friends around and a large extended family who gets together at least once a week, my minimal interaction with other people was getting to me. Luckily, I got the attitude adjustment I needed in the form of serial Skype dates on Friday night that led to a wonderfully fulfilling weekend.

I realized that the past three times I’ve moved, the only times I’ve moved, that I had the luxury of what I call “built-in friends”, people you can count on being your new friends because you’re all in the same situation. When I went off to college to play soccer, I had the team to lean on and it was a quick and lasting bonding experience. Australia took me to I-House, my dorm with all kinds of welcoming activities and plenty of other new international students looking for friends. In France, the whole program arrived at the same time and us Americans stuck together automatically.

I haven’t had that in New York. I wondered if I’d find that camaraderie with the other interns, but being the only intern at my imprint, well, not so much.

Which brings me back to Friday night. Jackie was the first date in my line-up, and she gave me exactly the motivational kick in the ass that I so needed. With both of us being in new cities, we talked about the adjustment period and how it really just takes time to settle in and get in the swing of things. It’s to be expected whenever you completely up and move to a new city.

As per usual, Jackie’s general outlook on life picked me up and made me realize that we are in fact living the life. I’m so fortunate to have the opportunity to come to New York, a world metropolis, to begin pursuing a career in the field of my choice. I’m a short subway ride away from some of the most exciting entertainment with the world at my feet, an immense amount of possibilities in front of me, and a bright future on the horizon. Attitude: checked. Mood: lifted.

After a short dinner break, I was on with B who also recently moved to a new city and was ready with more advice and encouragement on settling in. We laughed and lamented our days of living together and I was left feeling happier and also excited for the How I Met Your Mother premier which B and I will be watching “together” on Monday. Yay.

As if I hadn’t already gotten the pick-me-up I needed, my next date was with my parents. Parents are always pretty good at that pat on the back that says “you’re awesome and perfect just the way you are, and of course you’ll make friends and be happy because you deserve it” and mine are no exception. Alone in my apartment at 10 o’clock on a Friday night, a situation that may have left me near to tears had I let myself think about it earlier in the week, I could not have felt more loved and optimistic.

Having checked my attitude, I got up Saturday to volunteer at one of the branches of the New York Public Library for Love a Library Day with New York Cares, a volunteer group. I met some wonderfully driven and philanthropic people through the group and am looking forward to getting registered and doing more volunteer work in my free time.

This experience also taught me a valuable lesson: don’t be mean to the people handing out flyers. Half of my three hours of service were spent doing exactly this. Yes, I was one of those people. And I really did appreciate being told “no, thank you” as opposed to being flat-out ignored, given a dirty look, or generally being treated like shit. Bottom line is you don’t know what people are out there trying to promote – maybe it’s a good cause or even something you’re interested in – and those people are still people. They’re just doing a sucky and irritating job, and that’s not their fault.

Having completed my task at the library, I headed home to get ready for soccer. I found a website, Meetup.com, that has all kinds of activities, groups, and clubs all over. I found a co-ed soccer group and figured I might as well give it a go. Meet people and keep working toward getting in shape at the same time. And it was fun! I felt bad since I was a few minutes late having gotten lost in Central Park trying to find the field.

Also, I was the first and only girl to show up for my team. I’m pretty sure I was getting looks, either because I was the only girl or because I was wearing gym shoes instead of turf shoes (a blazing signal that says “I’ve never played soccer before” if you’re over the age of five). Luckily, I opened up with a few decent passes and a shot and people seemed to get a lot friendlier. Or maybe I imagined it all from the beginning, and my confidence was just boosted once I had a few good touches. I won't rule out the latter.

One hour and a lot of sweat later, my team was on the losing end, but it was a good competitive game for the most part. I even met another Midwesterner who seemed really friendly, so I’m hoping I’ve found a friend! I headed home after soccer and after fixing a great big salad with grilled salmon, I gladly fell into bed and slept soundly through the night.

And then woke up fairly sore. Which, oddly enough, was really nice! Oh, to be in shape again. I’m closer than I was but not there yet. At any rate, I got up to go observe and be interviewed for a second job hosting at a café downtown. It was super busy and I completely felt like I was just in the way, but I was told I did a good job and would get a call back once the manager talked to my trainer to see how I did. Fingers crossed, because it pays pretty well, the hours are really reasonable, and I need something to help fill up my time! Once home, I caught the rest of the Bengals game – second win in a row! WHO DEY – and made dinner for my roommates.

There’s something to be said for the power of positive thinking, believing in yourself, keeping your chin up, and all those other awful but true clichés you always hear. It reminds me a lot of the culture shock I experienced in France. You’d think having been through this before, I’d remember to keep plugging along and to stay busy but alas, some lessons have to be learned twice. Hopefully, I won’t need a third reminder!

Here and there,
Kiley